You are reading this because you are interested in how you can best deal with or help someone who is a chronic Disposophobic. These folks are often called hoarders, clutterers, messies, dysfunctional or lazy slobs.
Every year I get thousands of phone calls and e-mails from people who are friends, relatives or victims of a Disposophobic who want me to tell them what they can do to help the Disposophobic.
My standard answer is… if you want advice, on how to fix this person this is what I have learned over the last 30 years or so.
There is nothing you can do to fix this person!
The fixing must come from within the Disposophobic. In most cases, the relatives and victims have, in some way, enabled the Disposophobic’s behavior by putting up with the problem for years or consoling them with kindness, cash and even pity.
Some people even ask me if I provide gift certificates. NO! They never work and are a total waste of your time and money.
Any form of enablement whatsoever for a Disposophobic, is not doing them a favor or any good. It is like sending gamblers to Las Vegas for a recovery seminar, or taking an alcoholic to a bar to learn how to stop drinking.
In every phone call, my solution is the same.
If you can get the Disposophobic to call me on the phone and ask me for my help, I can help them. For those who do call, I have a 85 percent chance to provide the Disposophobic with a new and better way to live and not feel any loss in the process. About 15 percent of the time they don’t want to hear what I have to share and for some reason therefore never follow through.
If they do not call me then nothing will work. Drugs will not work, psychotherapy has never worked and even going into their homes and cleaning out the place while they are out or under protest will not work for long.
In most cases, the relatives or neighbors who call me are in much more pain than the Disposophobic.
How to reduce your pain
You need to share this information with them in a non-judgmental way. You may suggest to them that there is a solution available for them, from a person who has recovered thousands of Disposophobics over the last 30 years. If they have hit bottom and want to recover, they will call me or email me, as embarrassment is always a serious problem for them.
After all, they are very smart, articulate perfectionists and as such, they have a real hard time reaching out to others for help or advice.
There is little you or anyone else can do for that matter until the Disposophobic is in more pain than you are.
If they are not willing to call or e-mail me and ask for help, then you may as well give it up because you are wasting your time, dollars and energy on this person. Just knowing that you cannot fix them should reduce your pain when you stop trying.
This behavior is self-taught and self-induced.
Just as smokers had to teach themselves to smoke, Disposophobics have taught themselves to hang on to all kinds of stuff and live the way they do.
What causes this problem? For whatever reason the Disposophobic’s behavior is precisely like that of alcoholics, drug addicts, gamblers etc. They will quit when they are ready. Some never do.
My father smoked cigarettes from the time he was 12 until it killed him at the age of 78. The last two years of his life, he was attached to an oxygen generator 24 x 7. Several times a day he would remove the oxygen tube and go on the porch to light up. Go figure!
Until a Disposophobic wakes up and wants to change their behavior and surroundings there is little anyone can do to change their thinking which drives their behavior.
For the Disposophobics who do call me, ask for my help, and then follows through we have a 100% success record.
Our process is twofold. While we are providing them with a clean slate to live, we also teach them how to think and then behave differently. The change in thinking is the key to long term and meaningful success. As far as I know, there is no person or firm anywhere in North America, that has over 30 years of experience dealing with these people, or anyone who has a record of accomplishment such as ours.
I have personally recovered thousands of Disposophobics over the last 30 years. Every one my recovered clients had to call me on the phone and tell me that they were sick and tired of living a life of squalor, depression and disharmony with the world.
To them, Disposophobia is now a distant memory.
If you require any further information, please call me directly at 718-939-5800, or at 1-800-ThePlan.
I wish you the best,
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